Most things don't happen because you don't do them…
Recently, a friend asked me if I would be available for an interview for her social media channel. As a journalist, I am usually the one sitting on the other side, so I couldn't explain this request at first and asked "why". "Because you are a doer, Lilli! And there aren't many like you," she answered. Maybe it's because we, as women, are unfortunately born modest, but I was almost a little ashamed to say yes to her. But she was right. And in fact, the fact that I am a doer is one of the things in life that I am most proud of myself. Because it is exactly this fact that helps me to turn a dream into reality.
And yes, it sounds so easy. Making something. But it isn't. Although we often know exactly what we are missing, what we should change or what is still necessary for our own happiness, we don't do it. We often think about it, we are very aware of it, but we don't act. And so it happens that we spend a lifetime dreaming of emigration, but then prefer to play it safe and remain trapped in our everyday lives, because of course any change in life runs the risk of worsening our own situation rather than improving it. And so we accept staying in toxic relationships, unsatisfactory living situations and low-paid jobs instead of changing something. We think things through until they no longer seem feasible and imagine scenarios that will never happen in life.
But that's not how it works. Maybe it's also something that is typical for us women, that we are supposed to be grateful. But personally, I'm fed up with being grateful for something that is taken for granted. I have never wanted to be satisfied with a situation that is just fine. I want the full programme. Yes, my demands are high and yes, that is completely justified! And believe me, if there's one thing that distinguishes me besides my reputation as a doer, and most people actually overlook this, it's that I'm also a mistake-maker. So many times I have made wrong decisions and gone in the wrong direction, but I am not afraid of it. It's awesome! We should all make mistakes and get lost, because that's the only way we can find out which direction we really want to go. But if you stop at the crossroads, if you take no turn, you will stagnate and that is, in my opinion, the worst thing that can happen to you in life. Stagnation only means avoidable security and usually much more chronic dissatisfaction. Stagnation means settling for something and I for one have never done that.
No, actually I can proudly say that in my life I have already achieved a lot of what I wished for at a young age. Maybe it's not what society's yardstick (which I don't give a shit about, by the way) dictates, but it's what I want and what makes me happy. I have been working as an editor and photographer for thirteen years now, 1.5 years ago I left rainy and chronically bad-tempered Germany and moved to sunny southern Spain and last week I founded my own company and am now in the process of fulfilling my big life's dream - my own finca.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I am happy at this moment. I do what makes me feel good and I am aware that this is not easy for everyone. Including me. That's why I want to share a little of my experience with you in this blog. It is primarily aimed at women, because as a social scientist, feminist and journalist, I am very interested in making visible the structures in our society that ensure that women still have a harder time in our society than men, and in giving anyone who says otherwise a few tangible examples. As an expatriate, I would like to share with you my tips and tricks on how to stay calm in difficult situations and how I quickly made friends in a foreign country. And as an entrepreneur, I want to show transparently and honestly what values are behind this small company.
